Thursday, April 29, 2010

Ants: Stewards of God

They are always in a queue going up and down the edge of my doorpost. It's annoying to have them around. And when they bite, I just can't ignore the itchiness. Yes, they're ants. Although for me, they're annoying little creatures, I had fun watching them. And, I learned a lot from them.

These creepy crawlers of red and black may be one of the smallest creatures, but they are the most responsible creation of God. As I was observing them, it seems like they are doing nothing but just queuing along my room. While following the queue, I realized that they're gathering food from the crumbs of the bread I ate. Of course, annoyed, I tortured them by pouring water on them and cleaned up that part of the room. I was glad that they're no longer there. However, the next day, I saw them queuing again but in my bathroom floor. I didn't see any bread crumbs around but their home is at the corner of the bathroom. Once again, I poured water on them and many died. But after the floor dries out, they again filed in their queue. Not contented, I blocked their homes with a little bit of conditioner. Then lo and behold, they looked for another exit and continued what they are doing. I just can't stop them.

Then it struck me that as a Christian, I am like these ants. The difference is they know how to persevere and though hardships and trials come their way, they still continue to move on with their lives. They save for the rainy days by the continuous search for food and storing up in their homes. It's such a shame because as a person, and a special creation of God, I should know better than those ants. I should know how to be a good steward of my life and my resources. God entrusted me this life but what did I do? For most of my life, I abused it with temporary pleasures... be it physical, emotional, mental and even spiritual. Well, these ants have taught me a lot. And I guess, this is God's way of telling me that I have to start over and be a responsible steward God wants me to be.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Double Life

We all wear different masks everyday. Masks that would make people laugh and masks that would make them cry. It's easy to play a role wearing a mask because people won't know who you really are. We live our lives according to what the society dictates but when you start to remove your mask and try to live your life according to who you really are, then, society will slowly depart from you.

Living a double life could become very tiring. On one hand, this is who I am but on the other, this is what the society wants. Then, as a Christian, society's pressure has more weight. It's easy to just go with the flow and "kiss" society's dictates but being a Christian, I have a higher standard. I know of a lot of Christians who are "righteous" in front of a lot of people but in their own personal lives, they are not. Hypocrites! I am also guilty as charged. After much contemplating, I was reminded that I am shaming no one but God. I have to practice what I preach and be real for a change.

Society may persecute me but I love God more than them. I know that in the end, I will be left alone. But, being alone with God...I'd long for that more than being with the society without God.

Monday, April 26, 2010

In Love Not Brainwashed

A friend of mine made a comment that Christianity is a religion that is brainwashing people. I wasn't prepared to answer back to that comment so, I tried to defend Christianity but wasn't successful because my answer was compromising the truth. I regretted it. But thinking about it, is Christianity really a brain washer religion?

Growing up in a Christian family made me think that I am already a Christian because I thought that I can inherit religion. But as I grew up, I was told that I have to accept Jesus Christ in my heart so that I could go to heaven and not hell. So, I accepted Him when I was in grade 3 because I definitely don't want to go to hell. I involved myself with a lot of ministries and followed all the rules. I honestly, got frustrated with all the rules because deep inside me, I know that I will never be that "goody two shoes" person everyone expected me to be. I slowly faded through all the ministry involvement. Until one day, I get burned out and stopped everything. I tried to find some answers but the only answer I had was to be still and return to God. Then, I recommitted my life to Him and seek for His healing. I'm so glad that with open arms, He just took me back.

I've always thought that Christianity was brainwashing people. But I realized that it is not. It's simply God stirring the hearts of those who seek Him. Christianity is not a religion but rather, it is having a relationship with God and letting Him rule my life. Though I sometimes fall, but it's now easier for me to run to Him and confess all my sins because I don't want to hurt Him. Also, I often remind myself of His love for me and what He did on the cross. For some, I may be brainwashed but for me, I'm just simply in love with Someone who first loved me.

Monday, April 19, 2010

What's Next?

"Do you love me?...Feed my sheep." I was struck this morning by this statement. Yes, it is Jesus' words in John 21. Probably, I've been ignoring this verse for a very long time and today, it just popped up on my face! Then last weekend, I was reminded to surrender to God and to give. He's speaking to me loud and clear that I need to trust Him all my needs and giving should not become a hindrance. Easier said than done. That's why by faith and by His grace, I will follow Him and do as He commands.

Honestly, I still don't know where He will lead me but what I know is that I have to start being responsible with my God given resources and learn how to share them with others whom God will appoint to me. Not because of the blessing that I will get in return but because I love God. I am excited to see where my life would be after June. Though I will lose something, but I know that I will gain more. So, what's next? I really don't know but I just have to be still and know that He is MY God! Guys, please pray for me that I may persevere and endure all the things that will happen in my life.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Surrender and Slowly Recover

Walking with God means surrendering your life to Him but taking things one step at a time. Which is easier? Surrendering or taking things slowly? Honestly, for me, the taking things one step at a time is harder than surrendering. It's because I am having a hard time to be still since time runs so fast that I need to get things done right away. Also, I'm the kind of person who makes a solution out of every situation. I always thought that I need to save everybody...the superman syndrome. But, God taught me a lot of things of becoming still. It's a matter of focusing on Him and ONLY HIM.

In this world, there will always be a lot of distractions because Satan does not want us to be close to Jesus. The battle is usually in the mind. When I start thinking of the things I need to do today, I will be overwhelmed and then, become anxious then get frustrated of not being able to do the things I need to do. The cycle goes on and on. That's why, I need to shift my thinking from worldly perspective to God's perspective. This is a hard thing to do since it's not a natural thing for human beings to look at things at a bigger picture.


When I went to Vigan last 2007, I was given a chance to experience how to mold a clay pot. It was really hard because since I have no training for molding pots, I was not able to mold the clay into what I desired it to be and one wrong hand movement, everything must be molded again from scratch. But when that same clay was molded by the professional, it turned out to become a beautiful vase. And to finish it off, the molded clay needs to go through fire so that it will be sturdy and will be used for different functions. Experiencing this situation, I realized that the clay is my life. If I will be the one to mold it, the "shape" won't be perfect. However, if I let God mold my life, an amazing masterpiece will be the result. But, in order for God to use me, I must go through the "fire". Then, when I become the finished product, I can function well.

I praise God because through Glorious Hope Recovery Program, God is slowly shifting my mind-set to Him. He continued to speak to me by taking things little by little. No need to rush because healing is a process. Although the world dictates that everything should be fast paced, God dictates me to be still. I must surrender to Him all my life 100% and see Him work on my life. I must let Him BE my Potter. And since I am His creation, only He knows how my outcome should be and He'd be able to use me according to how he molded me.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

God's Perfect Timing for His Perfect Blessings

"In His time, in His time, He makes all things beautiful in His time." This is a common children's hymn but is also very applicable even for adults. When we were kids, we were often excited when our birthdays and Christmas comes because we know that during these days, we will receive lots of gifts. Or, sometimes, when our parents promised us something, we often look forward to that day when we will receive it. But often times, growing up, we get broken promises from our human relationships. That's why most of the time, we see God as someone who will also break His promises. We are doubtful if He will truly provide or not because as adults, we hate waiting and anticipating. The excitement when we were kids has already gone.

But when we read the bible, God's promises were never broken...from the old to the new testament. He just knows the right timing and He knows that what we're asking for is something we can handle. He just wants to make sure that we are already responsible enough to get what we are asking for. God wants to bless us and He has promised to provide for all our needs. The condition: we must follow His will for us.

For example, when I was a kid, my mom would tell me to achieve a perfect grade then she will reward me. Since I love pizza, that's the reward I will ask from her and I will be motivated to do my best to please her and perform well in school. Then when the test papers came and I made it, we will have Friday Night Pizza at Pizza Hut. Then, I will be satisfied. However, there are times when I asked my mom if I can go out with my friends, she just refused. Back then, I was 12 and didn't know why she won't allow me. I was so disappointed and really get mad at her. Though she would explain to me the reason, I just won't buy it. So, I disobeyed and just go out with my friends. On my second year in college, my cellphone was snatched in the jeepney. Then I realized that she was just protecting me from the bad guys in the metro. Unfortunately, she already passed away when I learned that lesson.

Looking at my walk with God, it's pretty much the same with a parent-child relationship. God knows what's best for me and I must hold on to His promises. I have to keep on anticipating because I know that if I'm on the right track, everything will be perfect and I'd be able to see His blessings shower. I didn't say that everything will be smooth sailing because even when a situation seems wrong, it will become right after I have gone through it. Patience is also a key factor. Just wait on the Lord because He has the best plan in my life and yours too!

Monday, April 12, 2010

God's Provision

The other day, I realized that I no longer have enough money until the next pay day. That's like about 6 days. So I just prayed and asked God to open my eyes that I may see where I could get some cash. Then he impressed on me that I have a friend who owes me some cash. And, that cash would be more than enough until the next pay day. I was able to get it last Saturday.

However, I left my wallet today at home. It's kinda hard but I saw God's hand moving today. It was a test of faith for me even with the simple things. God allowed this to happen to me so that I could learn how to trust Him. And, amazingly, He did provide for me. He didn't allow me to starve today and gave me enough money to go to the office and home. You may wonder how I can manage to survive a day without my wallet but it's just simple. When I left home, I only have P40 in my pocket. When I reached the office, God impressed on me that I have a meal allowance for last week that I didn't get until I asked today...that's P160. Since today is Monday, our lunch was covered by the company. Then in the afternoon, we had a meeting then the company provided some snacks. I hitched a ride wit our sales manager then got off at a mall near our house. I was still able to buy some bread then go home.

God is truly amazing! Even in this small way, He provided...what more on greater things? It is very clear in Matthew 6 that we should not worry about the things that we need because God will provide. Just like how He feeds the sparrow and other wild animals, He will likewise do it to us. I know I will be facing a lot of giants and lackness in my life but by faith, I know God will provide. He is my Jehovah Jireh!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Going Through the Storm

My million dollar question these days is where do I go from here? I honestly don't know how to answer that question but I guess it will always be my question for the next 2 and a half months. God has been telling me to wait patiently and be still. It's hard to be still especially if people keeps on asking how am I and what are my career plans.

This year would be a rocking year for me and my family. It's going to be a test of faith for all of us. I know God will provide and He will be there for us. But I must confess that doubt sometimes would creep in my mind. I just hope that I would persevere and be focused on Him. Just like what a friend of mine told us, that we have to be God-dependent. Trusting completely in Him that He will see us through the storm. Now I understand why my devotions are mostly about destruction and trials. To be honest, I am scared. I need to hold on to His promises just like Abraham did. The best way to describe what I am feeling right now is like seeing a tornado in front of me, coming my way hoping that it would divert its way. I don't know what kind of destruction will take place but I pray that I will look at them as blessing in disguise.

To my friends who are reading this, I need your prayers that I may live by faith and not by sight. Looking only to Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Day 1 of Year 27

Today, as the 1st day of my 27th year, I learned that life is just simple. No need for big celebrations or anything grand. I am happy that God gave me another year and another chance to serve Him. It's also God's way of telling me that I can always start a new life and make things right. I confess that I have somehow lived a lie in my past life but God gave me another chance and I am not gonna waste it. I believe that I am His working progress and I want Him to use me to touch the lives of the people around me. I may not be perfect but I have a perfect God who will guide me to the perfect path.

To all my friends and families, I thank you for your support during the past 26 years and as I start my 27th year, I hope that you would continue to be part of my life as I take this journey. If I have sinned against you, I am truly and deeply sorry and hoping for your forgiveness. If I have not thanked you, you are all appreciated because all of you made me who I am today. As you all know, I'm not a person who expresses my emotions in public but in this blog, I can assure all of you that I do care and love you all. Thank you again for all your greetings! May God continue to bless you on this special day.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Integrity: A Tool for Evangelism

Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." Matthew 5:37

Integrity is a virtue we often have over looked. We always make promises and break them. A person without integrity makes him/her a liar. I am guilty of not having integrity towards others and God. All my life I have made a lot of promises I could not keep. And it's very shameful. I want to change that attitude and with God's help, I know I can change. From now on, I will see to it that whatever comes out from my mouth, I make sure I have to follow through with my actions. Else, this would be the easiest way to loose friendships and other important relationships.

I also believe that integrity is one core characteristic that attracts people to Christ. If I share the gospel and not live according to it, then, I am no different from the world. The Bible says that as a Christian, I have to be set apart from the world (Romans 12:1-2). I don't need to have a dramatic testimony to tell. I only need to be a person who keeps her promises and this can be the greatest tool to share the gospel to others.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

My Letter to God

Since today is Resurrection Sunday, I will make my blog a bit different to commemorate His sacrifice for all of us...

Dear God,

I don't know how to start this blog for this special day. But I pray that through this simple letter to You, I'd be able to touch the lives of the people. Looking back at my life, I grew up in the midst of the church. I received you as my personal Lord and Savior when I was in grade 3. All my family member and relatives are Your children. I memorized a lot of Bible Verses and know almost all Bible stories. I've had ministries left and right and go to missions and retreats during summer. I thought I have done all the right thing to please You already, but I was wrong. I still felt empty and don't know what to do. I filled my life with a lot of relationships thinking that they would satisfy me but people just come and go. Until one day, You spoke to me that You want a real relationship with me. Then I realized that You have been speaking to me but I won't listen.

When I recommitted my life to You, You quickly embraced me. I felt excited and at peace. I would never exchange that moment to any other thing in this world! Though there are times when I tried to run away from You, I can feel that You won't let go of me. I was mad at You and gave You a lot of "whys?" But I thank You because if You had let me go, my life will be ruined. You were just protecting me. There are times, You just allowed me to go my way because You want me to learn a few things and You know that I will always come running back to You. And, You still accepted me. Thank You for loving me though I have not loved You whole heartedly. You are the best Dad, Friend and Lover I ever had.

On this day, as I remember what You have done to save me, I am truly grateful! Words can't explain the overwhelming love that You have shown me! There's no greater love than this! Death's sting is gone because You have the victory! Thank You Jesus! I love You!

Your child,
Sheryl Fung

Friday, April 2, 2010

Taking the Big Leap

You want to be better? Move out from your comfort zone and file a resignation. Most successful people have one common characteristic...they have non-stop learning capabilities and is not afraid to take risks. Imagine seeing the beautiful horizon, the green grass and a different lifestyle that makes you happy...but before you can reach the other side, you need to leap from one cliff to another and you'll never know how deep it is and what's down there. Scary but exciting! I was able to meet two people during this Holy Week that inspired me to be better and take a big leap.

Both left their families to seek for better lives. They both have the courage to leave their comfortable lives just to follow what they wanted to do. They don't need to leave because their families are well off people. Have their own family businesses but they chose to start life from scratch. Both took the lowest job position in their field of profession but they don't mind. Although there are a lot of times when they're having a hard time, they strive and make way to find their resources. And amazingly, they were blessed to be provided for anything they need.

I've always wanted to be better. I only don't have the courage to leave my comfort zone because I don't have any savings yet. I always tell myself that when I have enough money, I will leave my life here and go to the province. But, come to think of it, when will that happen? What's holding me back? The urban life has made me enjoy life too much with a high cost of living and chasing after the wind. Letting go of relationships also make it harder for me to step up. If I want to live a new life, I have to take a BIG LEAP to move out and start anew. But when? I want to do it now. However, I need to have enough courage to do it. Maybe, after three years. We'll see...as they say, "let's cross the bridge when we get there."